Grief vs. Mourning
4 years ago
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Lateral Femoral Cutaneous and The Errand of Angels
Do you ever have those days where you feel like your mind is sort of slipping away? I can make a perfect batch of rolls or fried chicken, and even battle killer stains in my kids clothing and totally win. But when it comes down to spelling simple words like "recipe" or "definitely" I am at a total loss. Or when Emma comes home and needs help finding the mean number to a math problem and I think to myself, " there are nice numbers and mean numbers?" No its an average! Ridiculous I know. But then my husband comes home and asks me to spell Lateral Femoral Cutaneous (a nerve that innervates the skin of your outer thigh) and its a piece of cake. What gives? Maybe its my competitive side coming out that I totally have to show off to him. But really, some days I get a little nervous that I am not as smart or "educated" as I should be to have the lord have such faith in me to leave his special spirits in my care. How am I supposed to raise children to be strong, hard working, polite, law abiding citizens? Children who chose the right, even if the rest of the world isn't? Children who want to serve missions, who want to follow the lord. Children who could survive one day on there own without me? It scares me to think about. To think that maybe I'm not doing enough? Is it the little stuff? The "I love yous", making lunches, and trips to the library when they want to go? Is that enough? I sure hope so, because that I can do! (even if on occasion I complain a little) I love my children more than anything, and I want them to be successful in this life.
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5 comments:
TOTALLY GET YOU ON THIS! I think it's part of being a mom...I mean, I graduated college and used to be super speller of the universe, but since having children, the dictionary and spell check has become my best friend. Blah.
And Roni, you are definitely doing enough. You are loving your children...you are giving them attention...and I happened to hear some answers Emma gave in Primary today. She SMOKED the rest of the kids with her knowledge of church events, and I was SO impressed.
Seriously, it's those little things, that make SUCH a big difference. :) And I think you are amazing...
Wow...I'm TOTALLY with you on this one! I still call my sister sometimes (when I'm not by spell check on my computer) to ask her how to spell some of the stupidest things! If it's any consolation, I think you're one of the best mom's I know (and I'm not just saying that so you'll come visit again). You amaze me ALL THE TIME! I definitely think it's all about the little things in life...trust me, when you grow up without them, they become more important than ever, so you are doing the right things...keep it up!
Oh goodness! You're the best mom in the world...I learn so much of my parenting from you. And if you're wrong then I guess we'll go down together! Love you, miss you, and wish you and your buttload of patience was here with my children!
What a perfect post. I think it mirrors so much of what mothers feel like 900% of the time. At least me. Especially today. I was really greatful to read your post. Put so perfectly! There is a great quote I came upon today that I really needed...I can't even tell you how much I needed it. Anyway, I'll share it with you because I think it goes along so perfectly with this post. But before I share it, from what I see of you and your beautiful family Roni, your doing amazing.
"If I were Satan and wanted to destroy a society, I think I would stage a full-blown blitz on women. I would keep them so distraught and distracted that they would never find the calming strength and serenity for which their sex has always been known.
Satan has effectively done that, catching us in the crunch of trying to be superhuman instead of striving to reach our unique, God-given potential within such diversity. He tauntingly teases us that if we don’t have it all—fame, fortune, families, and fun, and have it all the time—we have been short-changed and are second-class citizens in the race of life. As a sex we are struggling, our families are struggling, and our society is struggling. Drugs, teenage pregnancies, divorce, family violence, and suicide are some of the ever-increasing side effects of our collective life in the express lane."
AND MY VERY FAVORITE LINE:
"We must have the courage to be imperfect while striving for perfection."
-Patricia T. Holland
(to read more go here...
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=c63b71ec9b17b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1)
(really, did I just spell grateful greatful? nice!)
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